Visual Mapping

Many of us make New Year’s Resolutions to improve ourselves. We look at the bright New Year and think of all the wonderful things that we can accomplish. I think the main reason that we fail in these endeavors is that we hide them away after we write them down. That Resolution written on that piece of paper or on that journal page will be hidden from view for the rest of time. How often do you return to your writings?

I’ve found a way that works a little better for me. I make a visual map of the things that I would like to have in my life for the New Year. I use magazines to clip images from. I use skills from kindergarten. I cut; I paste; I put it all on a piece of colored construction paper. It’s a fun afternoon. I sit surrounded by a mass of images ripped out of the magazines. After I’ve gone through the magazines ripping images that strike a chord in my heart, I go through them a second time and sort them into categories. The categories change, but some are pretty common: family, friends, career, wealth, and anything else that I feel like calling to me.

Now, don’t think that I do this every year. That’s my goal, but I don’t get to making time for myself that often. I did get to the process this year. I managed to set aside time because I invited a group of friends over to make dream boards. Since they were all coming over on a specific Saturday at a specific time-I had to be there and I had to make my own to show them how it was done. I harnessed my habit of only doing things for other people. I made the day all about my friends. I was just tagging along. Step one-admit you have a problem. Now, I have a new set of collages to show me the way to a better life-or the one that I desire. Mostly it’s about focusing on something like making time for friends.

I almost forgot to tell you the most important part. You have to hang to collages where you can see them every day. I hang mine on a bulletin board in my kitchen. I see those images several times a day. I think it’s a great way to activate your subconscious to lead you in the right direction.

The Fire has the Last Word:



Mary Paliescheskey-2014

Working in clay requires a few steps and two firings in the kiln. The process isn’t complete until the piece comes out of the final firing. You never know what will happen in the fire of the kiln. The fire does what it wants -Magic or disaster.

The process begins with the building of the piece in clay. I use Long Beach White which can be high fired and is basic clay. Prior to the first firing, the piece needs to dry completely. At this point the clay is very fragile and can be easily broken. If you pick it up by the edge-that edge may just snap off. This is such a sad thing to happen to something that you spent time creating. It is considered greenware.

Drying clay looks
the same as bisque

This first point is where many things can go wrong. First, if the piece isn’t completely dry, you may open the kiln to find a broken piece. The water left in the piece will expand to water vapor from the high heat in the kiln. This rapid rise in temperature causes an expansion of liquid to gas-resulting in the water now taken up a much larger amount of space. The expansion breaks the piece. Another problem could be that you left an air bubble when you joined two pieces of clay. You’d think that wouldn’t matter. A gas is a gas, but as Boyle’s Law tells us; the volume of a gas is dependent upon its temperature. The higher the temperature the larger the volume that is needed. Again the piece can be broken. Open the kiln and see what you have…

 Once it is bisque fired (survived the first firing), you are ready to glaze the object. Choices and choices-there are many. What color glaze do you want? Are you using just one glaze or several? If you over lay glazes, you end up with three colors. The first color, the second color, and the third where the two mix. And guess what! The order that you put the glazes on matters. Color A then Color B gives Color C, BUT Color B then color A gives and entirely different color. There are really unlimited choices. I hope you can make a decision. Now here comes the surprise. Even when you think you know what will happen with the glazes. It’s only a guess. The fire in the kiln decides how things turn out.

You don’t believe me. Well, look at these two goblets. I glazed them in exactly the same glazes in exactly the same order, on the same day. Fired in the kiln and out they came a bit different. I have actually never seen the brown color with Carbon Trap Shino before this. Surprise!

 

The fire really has the last word.

Kill your Critic

We all start out so powerful. As children, we have to be taught to be ashamed or that we are bad at something. A toddler has unbounded courage and belief in themselves. If they didn’t have it, how would they ever learn to walk? Can you imagine if they had that internal critic voice? Oh no, I can’t do this. I’m going to fail. I’ll never get any better at walking. I should just give up right now and sit back down. – Never. They fall down and get right back up until they are running. Imagine what we could accomplish if we never internalized the critic.

How does this happen to us? When does it all go wrong? We aren’t born this way.

I don’t remember how it all started for me. I’m sure that you can’t remember that first instance of the voice either, but I do remember one person in particular. She had a strong effect on my self-image. She was a teacher after all. From her I learned that I was not an artist. Wow. Right. For decades I believed her.

From Julia Cameron and The Artist’s Way, I learned that she was my critic and I must kill her-metaphorically speaking. A part of that recovery was making a picture of her-crazy scary looking huh. But that is how I see her with that fake orange dyed hair and always frowning. Telling everyone what they are doing wrong without acknowledging the effort or idea. I do have some compassion for her as time goes past. Maybe she was criticized. Maybe she was a failed artist and couldn’t see the worth of others as being valuable. Okay maybe she was just an evil ‘B’. Who knows what she is…. I followed the path and don’t allow her to shape my self-image. She played into my fear (False evidence appearing real).

Still be on the lookout for these critics. They are all around you. They show up in your life to pour their negativity over your joy in being creative. Have you heard them? They say things like why are you writing a novel? You’ll never sell it. You’ll never make money at that. No one would ever pay you for that sculpture. They place it into the framework of being concerned about you. They worry for you. No, for personal reasons that you may never know, they want to dump a wet blanket over your dreams.

Kill them. Remove them from your circle of trust. If they do it once, maybe try them again. If they do it twice, STOP sharing with them. They are not worthy. Share with people who support you. People who will tell all their friends how wonderful and brave you are. Creativity and art do not require that others pay for it. All that is required is that it feeds your soul. Feed yourself and watch your skill and creativity grow.

Eclectic Artist



I’m easily bored. Therefore, I work in a variety of media. I just can’t stay with the same thing. Part of it is that in order to create in ceramics, I have to go to the studio at the Irvine Fine Arts Center. I don’t own a kiln-nor do I have the space for one in my apartment patio. (I’m sure the landlord would just love it if I put in a non-standard electrical outlet to accommodate the kiln-Not!) Sooo I knit, draw, paint, write. I’m random that way.



Tree Spirit

Ceramics is where my heart is. When I work in the clay, everything else vanishes. I am truly living in the moment. It’s like a meditation. There is nothing, but the creative process. All the noise in the studio fades away. Most days I only notice that it’s closing time because the noise level has changed so I look up and return to reality. Oh my-is that the time? It is the best feeling ever.

 

 

 

Self Portrait: Pen and Ink

Drawing and painting can also get me to the place of stillness. It’s just harder because I usually work from a photograph or physical object. I am creating, but there is a real reference point. At this point in my journey, I don’t get to the vanishing point with my drawing. I have on foot in this world and haven’t vanished into the creativity. Still it is wonderful and freeing. I feel the beauty of the creative process. A blank page suddenly becomes an impression of what I see. Beauty comes from the void.

 

 

 



Books for Kindle

Writing is creation from nothing as well. I work on my novel-slow, slowly goes the draft. In the blank places, I work on my annotated classics. I feel that many students are missing out on reading. I hope to provide annotated books so that they can understand them within the same book. No need to get cliff notes or spark notes. Just read and enjoy. All the stories are the same-time and vocabulary changes and makes it harder to understand.

 

 

 

 

 

Knitting I do that because I just can’t keep still. Watching TV is a time waster. I have to be doing something productive so I knit. My hands are busy creating something from nothing. I’m not being lazy which is very important to me. Family values instilled at my father’s knee. Make something with your hands.

Favorite Sweater

Knitting: St John's Wort Scarf

I have been working a full time job teaching high school. I’ve been away from my artistic self for too long. The long hours at work don’t leave much energy for creative thoughts. I’ve been slowly loosing myself. I spend a few hours a week working on a scarf or two, but it’s such a small amount of time. I am grateful for the time I get, but I’ve been feeling frustrated.

Small blessings happen all the time. I injured my foot and got put on medical leave. Now I have time for knitting.

I started this scarf some time ago, but here I am watching TV with my foot elevated per doctor’s orders. Keep off the foot. I may see a scarf finished by the end of the two weeks. I love this pattern. It was part of a sweater that I made years ago. It was the pattern on the collar and sleeves.

I must remember this lesson and make time for my art each week. I will remember that I need to feed my soul by creating art out of nothing. The ball of yarn becomes a thing of beauty. The simple string becomes something warm and cozy. Clothing is necessary, but the creation of beauty is for the soul.

Find what feeds you and remember to make time for yourself. You need to recharge. You cannot get water from a dry well.

Artist Statement: My Journey

 

My art

 

 

So much to say and where to start. I guess I’ll start at the beginning. It all began with my grandmother. She taught me needle art. Art was everywhere, but just a part of life. I drew in charcoal. My father painted, my mother drew in pencils.

 

I loved needlework. I embroidered and cross stitched. I made Christmas presents for everyone. I made my own cross stitch patterns. I’m sure that everyone was tired of my craftiness. My sister has one of the few remaining originals. I made it for her wedding. It has a Pegasus on it since she always loved those winged horses. What I loved most about needle work, was the pattern and design forming out of nothing off the white canvas. You start with something white and slowly the design emerges from the void.

 

Tole painting was the start of my major focus on art and crafts. I loved to paint on wood. I actually owned a band saw and cut my own pieces. You can never find exactly what you want at a craft store.

 

When I moved to southern California, I went to a clay day at my cousin’s studio. I had no idea what that was; I went to connect with my family in a strange new place. Who knew that it would be the discovery of my artist self? I found my medium. I loved it! I took classes. I made my own designs. I loved to see the figures come out of the clay. Once again, I have found a medium that allows me to create something from out of the void. This time I create in three dimensions.

 

I’m pulled to the human form. My soul is called to help others. I helped form a volunteer program of doulas for the Sutter Davis Hospital. It was important to me that low income women could receive assistance during the birth of their children. Everyone deserves to have a helping hand to gain confidence in their abilities.

 

Times change and stay the same. I still connect with the power of birth and mysteries of a woman’s soul. As an artist, I sculpt this power into clay. The human form of a woman speaks to me. A woman has the most powerful muscle found in the human body yet it is surrounded by softness and curves. The power is hidden from sight. The strength must be felt underneath the softness.

 

I love the flow of muscle and skin. Clay is a fluid medium that flows and solidifies into strength.

The Man in the Arena

    “The Man in the Arena” is quoted every year on my son’s wrestling banquet program. I love that the coach is praising the attempt. He speaks to the courage it takes to be on a wrestling team. While it is a team sport, it is only you and your opponent on the mat. All eyes are on you. You stand or fall alone.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blodd; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Theodore Roosevelt

Excerpt from the speech “Citizen in a Republic”

April 23, 1910

   
   I think that the stand or fall is true for all of us-no matter what we do. Some of us take the stand and go out into that arena. We try and try again. For artists and authors, our arena is just as public as those wrestlers. We stand up and say look here is my effort. It is so hard to remember that it is not the critic who places value onto your work. You must have the fortitude to know that everyone sees things differently and that critic may not see your way. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. One person may point out the faults and the next may praise your work.

    How do you feel about your effort? Does it speak to you? Are you proud? Do you love your art? You should have enthusiasm, love, and devotion to the art that you make. It is an outlet for your creativity. Never let the fear of a critic stand in your way. Remember you are not a timid soul who hides in the crowd. You had the courage to place yourself front and center. You stand in the harsh light. You have taken a risk. Raise your head with pride and return to the arena. Never give up; never surrender.

Selling Art

Well, I've decided to try my hand at actually selling my art. I'm nervous and have this part of me that says...who would want to pay money for that.

I think it's just my blah attitude today. All part of the woman who can't do enough...can't keep the house clean...can't keep up with the work....don't make enough money...all that silly negativity....

Well, I'm just going to ignore those voices in my head and go ahead and do it. I like my art. My cousin likes my art. I'm going to make a living (or at least supplement my income) with my art. Here it goes.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/marypaliescheskey

Who am I?

I am Buckaroo Banzai- I will change who I am and what I do as often as I like. Or maybe I'll just do it all at the same time.

I have been a research scientist in women's health for the University of California, Davis. I am the mother of three sons. I am an artist, writer, tutor, and a doula.

The birth of my sons led me to a career helping other women birth their children. I provided emotional support, child birth education, and my physical presence and support. I would start at the woman's home in early labor and help her transition to the hospital or birth center. My work with women who could afford my services led me to become the coordinator of the volunteer doula program at Sutter Davis Hospital. Everyone should have access to educated support during the mystery of the birth process.

Times change and yet stay the same. I feel my age- in that I don't enjoy 24 hours of birthing support any more, but I still connect with the power of birth and the mysteries of a woman's soul. As an artist, I sculpt this power into clay. The human form of woman speaks to me. The power and strength surrounded by softness and curves. Amazing how this power is hidden from sight. It must be felt.